It’s been a while, but I woke up this morning having no clue where I was. There was a little light peering in through the window, and I could barely see what was going on. I found myself in a small room surrounded by girly things. I looked around and I saw my clothes on the other side of the room. I felt a warm breath on my neck, which, at the least, meant whoever this chick next to me was she was still alive. That’s not always the case. I was locked in and I couldn’t move. I had no clue what time it was or more importantly who the hell I was next to. I hate that feeling. It used to be fun, but now it’s getting down right ridiculous. I started to move and she clinched on tighter. “Christ,” I thought to myself, “I’m not a fucking anchor.” Anchor? Where the hell did that come from? I never talk like that. That’s when I felt a hat on my head. I reached up and grabbed it, so I could take a gander. “Why am I wearing a sailor hat?” I couldn’t help but to wonder what I had gotten myself into. She started coming to and when I saw her I was quite surprised. She was really hot. I’m not saying I fuck ugly, but you never know when you’re that drunk. “You stay there, I’ll make you breakfast,” she said with a kiss. I looked at her with confusion. My mind was quite blurry and I was trying to sort out the night. The best I could come up with was the St. Patrick’s Day Parade. I remember getting up and meeting with everyone. We started drinking pretty early. That’s about all I remember. She came back from the kitchen and jumped on top of me. “Do you really have to ship out tomorrow?” Jesus Christ, tell me I didn’t say I was a sailor. “Um, I, yeah, ship out tomorrow.” She kissed me and went back into the kitchen. I quickly found my phone and called Ryan. He didn’t answer. I called Bisch. “Hi Toph,” he said. “Bisch, what the hell happened last night?” I asked. “I gotta tell you I don’t know. Where are you?” I hung up the phone. She walks back in with dish of the most awful food I have ever seen. The eggs looked they came from a bird, and everything else was burned. The OJ tasted like it had vodka in it, but like it was left from 3 weeks ago. I ate, trying hard not to vomit on myself. The whole time I was trying to find a way out of there, but I didn’t even know if I drove. I told her I had to run, because I had a sailor meeting. “A sailor meeting? What the hell is a sailor meeting?” I thought to myself. She looked at me and went down on me. I thought it was a nice going away present. As I dressed she told me that she couldn’t wait for tonight. I asked what she was talking about, and apparently my asshole friends told her they were throwing me a going party tonight. They told her where it was and what time it was at. Those bastards. I never like to poke the same girl two days in a row.
