Snapinin? Let me tell you a little story. Last night, on my way home, I got my first official San Francisco, “Are you The Toph?” I was startled, because I haven’t been recognized here in San Francisco yet. I was riding on the cable car, and I could tell the couple was talking back and forth, all the while looking at me. The girl, who was rather cute, tapped me on the shoulder, and asked if I was The Toph. I told her I was, because I am, and they both got really excited. It’s nice to have fans in SF now.
She then asked me how she could get her friend laid. I told her how to have sex with him, and apparently that’s not what she meant. She wanted to get him sex from a different girl, preferably at the club. Well, that’s easy enough. Here are the steps to take for getting a chick in bed from the club.
1. Look for the right girl – Simple, right? Appearance is everything when scouting out a chick to do.
In most cases, avoid the conservative, especially, if you’re a rookie. At this point in my career, it’s all like shooting fish, but for you youngin’s out there stay away from them. They’re too much work. Make sure she has a short enough skirt, and a low cut top. It’s like getting a new car. Make sure she has the body style, the right color and the right feel.
2. Watch her moves – If you’re looking for good sex, make sure she can move her hips. A lot of girls can fool you with the right dance moves. Make sure you look for the girl who dances with her hips. If she can work her mid section, she can make it happen in the bedroom. Some girls try their hardest to hook you with the cracker girl dance face. Don’t let them. It’s ugly.
3. Who is around her – Make sure you go for the girl who’s not getting much attention. The chicks that have guys all over them all night are going to be more difficult to take home. They may even become annoyed with your feeble attempts. If she’s out with the girls, and the girls are getting more attention, go after her. Either she has a boyfriend, or she’s in need of attention, or both. Chicks with boyfriends usually say straight up if they’re with someone. Again, you’re not ready to overcome that small hurdle.
4. Be weary of the dance – I know you think you can dance, but this is how she’s going to think of you sexing. If you can’t dance, don’t try it. “But I can funny dance!” Not if you want to have sexual healing you can’t. If you do dance, make sure you stay close enough to where she can’t see just how bad you are. Don’t be creepy and smell her hair, or put your lips next to her neck, or get a semi (slight boner if you didn’t know). She doesn’t like that, so don’t do it.
5. Make it happen – Don’t wait till 2 to ask her home. If you wait till 2 you may have to spend more money, and she may change her mind. Do it early and go back to her place. I can’t say that enough.
6 – Get out early – Don’t hang around and wait for her to get up. Get out. So many things can go wrong if you wait for her to wake up. You will now be on future status. You don’t need a girlfriend. Get out. You might have to remind yourself of what she looks like. Trust me… just get out.
Good luck. I’ll see you on the new blog.
